Muffin Top

What is with women wearing what I can only assume are size 24 jeans when they are very clearly not a size 24, closer to a 34.  Can we say muffin top!  And I mean an overloaded cupcake pan type muffin.  Yikes.  Ghetto!  My number one question I want to ask is "How the hell do you get those ON?" number 2..."Do you think that looks good?"  It is beyond me why women do that.  Do you think they would be offended if I asked them?? Because I am honestly super curious.  I can imagine how that conversation would go...

ME - "I'm so sorry to bother you ma'am, but I'm just curious, what's up with the muffin top?"

MuffinTop Lady - "Muffin top?"

ME - "You know, all that fattiness pokin' out from under your skanky halter top and hanging over your way too tight jeans? And while you're at it can you explain to me the physics behind leveraging such a body size into those tiny little jeans?"

MuffinTop Lady - *gasp* "BITCH!"  *WHACK*(her fist hitting my face)

ME - "Ahhhhhh" *SPLAT*(my face hitting the ground)
Hmm...on that note...I'm not going to ask.  I'm just going to assume they don't look in a mirror before they leave and are in absolute denial about their actual size or have not purchased a new pair of jeans since they were 12 years old, in which case I would be more than happy to buy them a new pair of pants, no joke!